Driggs

When I found out about the Driggs Firework show I wanted to get on that action. It meant a little road trip out of Rexburg-which I was in desperate need to get out of my apartment. I texted some friends and Ketrea gladly wanted to come! It was a beautiful drive, even if it was cloudy. I definitely fell in love with area; it was so gorgeous! Once we got closer to town I was surprised to see how huge this firework program was. But it made since when I found out it was put on Huntsman Springs (apart of the Jon Huntsman foundation) it made perfect sense! My parents when to Driggs last year and raved about Teton Thai so when the vendors at golf course didn't seem worth it, Ketrea and I decided it was worth walking into town get some thai. And Boy is was worth it. I loved the rustic look of the restaurant and the food was pretty amazing! I couldn't help but love the place because everything was well designed including the menu and the typography used for everything. So good. I wanted leftovers and I was full so we hit it up at the Teton Creamery. I've had better ice cream but it was good and it hit the sweet spot.  Then me and Ketrea spent forever trying to find my FHE brothers and my roommate we got to sit down and listen to the "Beach Boys". I'm not sure if they were the real ones because they sure sounded like it. Then the firework show started. at first I thought we had terrible seats but they were perfect! I've never felt so close to fireworks before or have them go off so close to me. The fireworks were set off by the stage put also around the whole lawn area! Amazing! Definitely want to go back in future years to come! Oh best part was seeing Lee Greenwood sing proud to be an American. Ha I just laugh because thats really all he's famous for and his choice of shirt was very 80s. Ha love it! And I found out of there is hot air ballon show this coming weekend and I want to go down for that! So lets just say that Driggs, Idaho stole my heart! I love the hidden gems Idaho has to offer. So glad I'm an America! More about why I love the 4th of July to come in future posts! 

Sunday Inspiration

A word of caution be careful where you watch this because it can make you cry. I made the mistake of watching it at work. I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. Maybe its because my parents celebrated 23 years or I went to a cousin's wedding at the beginning of the month. Maybe its because a lot of my friends are married or engaged, starting a family. But I just love love and I love seeing couples like this! Its proves that love will always prevail!

I Design

Even though I'm not doing graphic design full time anymore I still love it. This announcement was a great challenge for me because making sure all the information fit just right was difficult. There was a lot of information and I wanted it to be readable. (My biggest pet peeve with announcements is not being able to read the information.) If you are in need of a unique announcement, thats well designed and all about you, contact me at chloevictoriadesign@gmail.com or (208)312-1873. I can't wait to work with you! 

Tuned in.

Just some of my favorite songs that explain the feelings and emotions I'm going through right now. At least I'm being honest. No need to apologize for that.

    

"Hey, I know you're not okay even though you say you are."

"Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being 'willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.' Ultimately, patience means being 'firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord' every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so. In the words of John the Revelator, 'Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and ... faith [in] Jesus.'"

I remember when I didn't feel the need to withdraw myself because I wasn't experiencing pain.

I remember when it didn't hurt to get to sleep.

I remember when waking up was easier.

I remember running was a little more fulfilling and a little less painful.

I remember when I had lots of really caring friends in Rexburg. Now its a select few.

I remember when the only hard thing about piano was remembering the notes, not my hands hurting after 5 minutes of playing.

I remember when I didn't have to pretend I was okay because I was already okay.

I remember when I wanted to be a part of everything do crazy things every night.

I remember when I didn't have to worry about the future so much.

I remember I smiled because I was happy not because I was trying to help myself feel better.

I remember when it was a lot easier to be happy.

I remember when physical pain didn't emotionally drain me.

I remember when people would listen when I spoke.

I remember when people didn't need to ask me if I was okay. They just knew I wasn't okay.

I remember when I didn't have hide the pain from people.

Lately I've trying to do my best to patient with others. Its kind of hard when you have such amazing friends before that took care of you and knew just what to say, and didn't judge you because you were "sick" or act like your ruining things because you don't feel up to it today. Sometimes I find it hard to have patience with others when they aren't patient with me. I'm willing to accommodate you if you are willing to accommodate me. I don't want to have to tell you I'm not okay, I just want you to go hey maybe she isn't okay.

When bad things happens or I'm in a lot of pain I act like I'm okay. I don't want to seem like I'm giving up or weak. I would much rather be the one taking care of others rather than having others take care of me. I want to feel normal. I've never felt normal until I came to college and now that has changed. I don't want to feel like other people need to take care of me. But when people do take care of me I'm grateful and glad someone is willing to help me and was paying attention. Paying attention to me like I would pay attention to them when I know something is not okay.  I'm glad when someone take the opportunity to say hey let me help you because I know you are not okay. Its easier for me being a person who has a hard time asking for help. I rather just give what I can to help rather than asking for help. And its definitely a pride issue but its how I've been since I was little. And here's me setting aside my pride and saying hey I really do need help, I really do need someone to understand, I really am not okay, could you give me a hug or help me with little things around the house, could you understand that when I say I'm okay right now I'm really not that okay.

I wish I okay and I wish I could make it stop. Please, would you just help me. 

Dear Boys

Its been awhile since I've done dear boys, and that probably has to do with my lack there of. We can discuss my awkwardness and about the days I have where I don't really care.

Dear Apparently Engaged Guy,
You should consider getting your self a ring.
Engagement rings for guys are good idea.
-embarrassed flirt

Dear Tom Sellek,
Thank you for your mustache. And thanks
for doing the voice over for North America.
-slightly obsessed with mustaches

Dear S,
Thanks for believing in me and being the
older brother I never had. Its could to know
I have you when life get hard in Rexburg.
Sorry I left you in Graphic Design.
Love,
Chelo

Dear Walmart Guy,
Maybe you'll eventually get my number...
but I'm not holding my breath.
-miss talkative

Dear Papa,
Thanks for taking care of me. Making sure
I'm okay even though you can't stop the pain.
Lucky to have you as my dad!
love,
chlojo

23 years

Aren't my parents adorable! 23 Years ago today they got married in the Logan, Utah LDS Temple. They have raised 4 children, worked hard to provide for their children, and kept their marriage strong all at the same time. I'm extermely lucky to have the caring parents that I do. Parents that are patient with me and have given as much as they could give me. They have taught me to live the gospel of Jesus Christ, be a good hard worker, be kind to everyone, to be the best I can be, and the importance of family. Even though I don't live at home, they are always helping me, taking care of me, and supporting me. They are remarkable parents. They have set a wonderful example for me. I hope to be a good mom like my mom and to find a worthy husband like my father. My parents stick together and are partners.  Because they are different they are able to make their marriage better. Marriage isn't easy and my parents have proved that its worth it. I love you Mom and Dad. Not many people stay married as long as you have these days! I'm proud to call myself your daughter and to say you are my parents. Thank you for loving me from the beginning, I'm so blessed to have you in my life. I can always count on you when life gets hard and I just need my parents.  Here's to you and many more years to come! 

Silver Linings

{via my iPhone}

The Tuesday after Memorial Day felt like the day I received the personal revelation I needed to stay in Rexburg and not worry about a mission ever. It wasn't what I was supposed to do. I so wanted to go on a mission, just like I wanted to have a degree in Graphic Design. But now I know that things change for a great purpose even if its hard. 

Tuesday was difficult because for one it was weird not going to class. And second I missed my classmates and the new things I would have learned from my teacher. I love graphic design and I believe I have a knack for it. Its hard letting going of something you thought was so right and perfect for you and believe God has something better for you. Maybe there is a reason I started to consider transferring. For many unknown reasons I guess. Which sometimes I really hate the unknown because I can't control it. I'm old enough to just get over that one by now. I'm in college and I've been dealing with that for a long time. 

I wish changes were easier to get over. I'm looking for silver linings in my life. That little silver that will make me feel just a smidgen better with all this negativity surrounding m.  I guess the one silver lining in my life among all this craziness (being 21 and arthritic...not cool Robert Frost!) is that I realized graphic design wasn't for me and there is something and somewhere that needs me more than me contributing to the applied arts world. Its remarkable to me that even in trails and adversity you can always find good. Good small things in your life or good people with good hearts! Thank goodness for opposites our we wouldn't know how to appreciate the moments that matter most.  Stumbled upon this gem when I really needed it.

mornings

That face describes best how I feel about mornings lately. Mornings have been hard for me for 3 weeks running now. My body hurts, doesn't want to move and sometimes when I wake up I just don't have the motiviation to be strong and get over it.  The arthritis blood test did come back with abnormalities and if my pain continues I need to see a rumetologist (joy. more doctors).  I've never been a fan of mornings to begin with but now I loathe mornings now. Before it was the fact that I had to get out of bed and not sleep anymore but now I have to wake up and feel pain. Living with chronic pain isn't just being physically drained but emotionally it is hard. I've noticed my motivation has dropped significantly. Some days I struggle with finding the energy to take care of myself; make myself presentable, cleaning my room, and getting some sort of exercise in. I want the pain to go away because I know how it feels to not be in pain.  Its getting better in the way that I'm dealing with it better emotionally. I'm not crying all the time like I was before (hurray for meditation!) So maybe someday I'll like mornings.