Let The Rain

Tonight I went for a walk.

Earphones ingrained into my ears.

I was listening to Let the Rain by Sara Bareilles

(don't know why I didn't know about it before, but Elise introduced it to me)

I walked to my favorite spot and no you can't know where that is. 

Its a secret ;)

I was trying to organize my thoughts and how I feel.

I realized some things. 

I'm in desperate need of a best friend in Rexburg. 

I need a hug. 

Sisters are my favorite.

Sara Bareilles sings what I am feeling. 

Boys are.....well lets not get into details.

I wish my mom was here in Rexburg.

I needed to cry yet again. I wish the waterworks would stop. 

At least I know why I needed to. 

I'm in a funk that I need to get out off. A run maybe? Shotgun shooting?

A chat with my BFF in Provo?

I'm stronger than I think. I think...

My Heavenly Father is looking out for me.

I am so ready to go to church tomorrow.

So here is my theme song of the week:

I want to be enough...

I had a wonderful young women leader who taught me something

 important as a Mia Maid. 

Women have an extra gene: the Devil Gene. 

Its that voice in our head telling us we aren't good enough. 

Some one else is prettier or smarter or more talented. 

At least for me its like I'm battling myself. 

Half of me says"Hey Chloe give yourself credit. You are worth it."

The other half is saying "Who would want to be with you. You are not good enough."
Hence why I am cynical when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend/love ect.
I've realized its the front I put up because I feel insecure about it.
Oh insecurities what would I do with out you.
I'd definitely be boring for sure.

If there is anything that I could stress more than anything is don't let that the devil gene win. 

If it does your life will be miserable. Literally the Pit of Despair!
(Don't even think about escap...cough cough. hehe)

There was I time where I let the devil gene win. 

I was one depressed girl. I was angry. I thought life wasn't fair.
I thought nobody wanted to be my friend.
I was no fun to be around because of this thought.
Of course nobody would want to be around that Chloe. 

Girls you are Royal heirs of a wonderful Father in Heaven. 

You are beautiful! You are good enough! You are amazing!
So everyday say"I am beautiful. I am good enough! I am amazing!"
Then repeat until you feel good inside. 

You are enough!
As I have gotten older a gained a plethora of wisdom(ha I wanted to sound  old)
I've come to understand I can't compare myself with anybody else.
I'm different on purpose. There is nobody like me in this world.
I am enough and I will be okay.

Dear Boy part trece

Dear LJ 101,
You are the best!
Love,
C-Lo

Dear 6,
I'm still utterly and completely
confused. But for the first time
in my life I actually like this feeling.
Love,
wallflower girl

Dear L,
Thanks for telling me
I looked pretty! It
made me feel good.
Love,
C

Dear SG 107/109,
Brownies? Yeah I like that idea
too!
Love,
LJ 317

Dear Boys,
You are bad for my health.
I wish it was easier to give
you up. You give me to
many headaches!
- Girl with head and heart ache

Dear Boy,
I could really use a best friend
right now. Would you hurry
it up!
Love,
Girl waiting and dreaming

It's raining

I love the rain. 

The Earth becomes clean and fresh again.

It brings rainbows.

Rainbows bring new beginnings 

Dear Boy

Dear Boy,
The best way I can say it is I like you a lot but I
can't get myself to say that to you. I'm shy and awkward
when it comes to this sort of thing. I'm just plain
 awkward when it comes to guys; I'm pretty clueless.
 You asked me today why I don't talk to you about
"stuff", its because  you're the "stuff" I want to talk about.
I thought you were interested but now half the time
I feel like I'm getting whip lashed. I don't say anything
because I've had such bad luck in the past. I've been
burned to many times by jerks. I've jumped the gun
other times. I don't say anything because of the
friendship. You'll probably never read this and
I'm okay with it. It was just writing it out that makes
me feel relieved.
----

My life in songs

So I love music!
I love how it can say how I feel

So for this week these are the songs that show how I feel.

The list could go on and on but this is just a sample of the songs I'm in love with. 

GC and other things

Things happen for a reason. 

This recent General Conference has been very inspiring. 

It amazes me how there are always a handful of talks that are just for me. 

I believe that is what makes the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints amazing.

More of the love Christ gives each of us.  It works for the individual. 

One of my favorite talks was given by Sister Elaine S. Dalton. 

She talked about fathers raising daughters. 

My dad is an amazing example to me and I'm grateful he already does what Sister Dalton 

talked about.  My dad has made it very apparent that he loves my mom; 

I want to marry someone like my dad. 

I also loved Elder Robert D. Hales talk. It gave me comfort. 

Sometimes I get ahead of myself or I get discouraged when things go wrong. 

He reminded me patience in trails and turning to the Lord 

will get me through anything. 

This General Conference has reminded me I have so much to be grateful for. 

I am so glad I followed the promptings of coming to BYU-I for my higher education. 

It has blessed my life so much. I have met wonderful people and I'm becoming a 

disciple of Christ. I am so grateful I came even though I originally hated my 

assigned track. It definitely saved me.  Coming home for my off track, just made sure I 

was still healthy. If I hadn't of stayed home during my off track my thyroid

would have gotten so much worse. I would have been a further mess. 

I have a wonderful family that loves me. I live a very, very blessed life. 

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

I know the fullness of Christ Gospel is restored to this Earth. 

I know we have a living Prophet on this Earth Today to leads and guides us.  

I know Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. 

I know that the Book of Mormon is another Testament of Christ. 

I have read it several times and I feel its power everyday. 

I know Jesus Christ atoned for my many sins and through him I will be clean. 

He is my Savior and Redeemer.