"Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life." -Thomas S. Monson
I know the title is long but it is a truth in my life. It is my 7th semester of living with roommates. My 6th living with new roommates. One thing that does not cease to amaze me is how catty girls are. How catty I can be, and how quick I start out to judge. I find it remarkable how easy it is for women can tear down other women, and after the fact that they have tried to empower the same women.
I thought once I got to college high school drama would disappear, thinking the people who said it does happen were lying. Boy was a wrong. High School seems to haunt around in collage like the mono virus, just waiting to come out to make you really sick.
Last night I was frustrated, I was upset at things that were being said. I was mad that my roommates hadn't paid me back, when she said she would. And I realized I had the same "stupid" expectations about somethings and I had been wrong myself. Everything seemed petty. I was reminded by what my truly inspired Graphic Designer had said in class one day. "I understand that life is hard but are we going to let little moments that seem annoying get in the way of service. Your roommate drank your milk, it ruins your day. Why would your roommate do that. But didn't the Savior teach us to take care of one another and to share." When he was talking about a ruined day and our roommate drinking our milk, he was talking about sharing what we know with others, and helping each other become better artists. But as I was thinking about it I thought it should hold true to charity. I have been upset before by a roommate eating something of mine or about their cleanliness or how they have treated me. How they've used my stuff or broken a dish or ruined a DVD. And I was thinking about how petty it really is. People matter more than things, dirty dishes, and judgements. After such incidents in my life have happened I have been reminded by the spirit those people are more important than the item that got ruined. My roommates weren't doing it on purpose and they didn't mean too. Yet when things like this happen we treat people as if they are doing it on purpose. They aren't and we shouldn't treat them as if they did so.
How stupid is it that dishes got in the way of having fun together as roommates my second semester. We all liked each other and then dishes became the problem. We let dishes get in the way of friendships, we let little things like that get in the way of helping each other and loving each other. We were judging each other about dishes, we were judging others about how they took care of the situation. We let the dishes get in the way of having fun with each other. We let judging get in the way. A wise Mother Teresa said," If you judge people, you have no time to love them." I know this to be true because I lived a semester in such a way. Its not really fun and it doesn't really lead to living happily.
And you are wondering how has this taught you Charity. What does Charity have to do with judging and dirty dishes. Charity is the opposite of judging. It is the willingness to give the benefit of the doubt. It is the understanding that none of us are perfect in this life and we shouldn't expect others to be perfect. Charity is the willingness to serve even when we don't understand why this person needs help. Charity is the pure love of Christ. Charity is doing your roommates dirty dishes even if its the 10th time you've done it that week. President Monson described charity as "Love in action." I'm pretty busy working 18 hours a week, juggling 12 credits that have a work load of 20, my health problems that like to make life difficult, and keeping my testimony in tact. Trying to be good and keeping up with my dishes is hard. I try to do my best at it. Its hard, I get tried easily because of my thyroid, I get frustrated with myself but I'm always appreciative of the roommate that does do the dishes when I don't have the time to when everything else in my life is crazy. For the roommate that doesn't complain having to do that. As much as I would like to have more roommates like that (I've only had one) but that doesn't mean I have loved all other the roommates less. I still love them for who they are and what they have taught me. With all the different roommates I have learned, we are all unique and different for a purpose. And that purpose is not to be judgmental or critical of each other. It is to help each other, serve each other to make us better. To become like the Savior and our Heavenly Father. Was it not in King Benjamin who taught
"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."
Charity is serving and loving with out question or judgement. I have become closer to my Heavenly Father and have been able to see what true daughters of God my roommates are when I set aside judgement and have had Charity towards them. We are becoming like God when we serve, we are serving the very Being that has blessed us with our life and all the things we have gained in this life.
Let us quit looking through dirty windows and stop being critical of others. None of us are perfect, and we don't know the whole story of others. We don't know their desires of their hearts. They are trying their hardest just like you are. Be glad to serve them instead of complaining that the dishes got piled high or that they forgot to pick up after themselves. Be happy you have the opportunity to help them. Be an example, not a complainer. Yes its important to have a clean home/apartment and clean dishes but is it worth ruining a friendship. President Thomas S. Monson, who is an exemplar of Charity, said this,
"Never let a problem to be solved, become more important than a person to be loved."
I'm still a work in progress in Charity and I'm an imperfect person. Charity never faileth when it is in progress. We are all works in progresses so lets give each other some slack and help instead of complaining about it.
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