twenty-one

Do you remember growing up thinking you would never get old. Like when you were in High School and even though you wanted to leave you couldn't really imagine yourself leaving. Or when you were a child and you can never in vision yourself turning twenty or twenty one for that matter. Twenty one for me has changed. I thought I would go on a mission when this age came around. I prayed for that for a six months got my answer I wasn't supposed to go. Then the new missionary announcement at October General conference made me want to think differently. Then I got the reassured answer I needed to stay in Rexburg. It was hard at first. All these girls just going on a whim to turn in mission papers and I wanted to be a part of it. At least I prayed about it first. I have friends and a roommate that turned in their papers and I am so happy for them. They are going to be awesome missionaries. 

When I was leaving high school I thought twenty-one met I would be married by now. Boy was I wrong. And I was super naive. So naive, it was sad and pathetic. I do have to say something about not being married: I'm glad I am not married yet. Yes you heard me right. I have changed so much since I started college. I have stronger testimony in the gospel. I appreciate my time alone. I have come closer to God. Because I have waited and continue to wait, I want a temple marriage more than anything in the whole world. And honestly I don't know how fresh out of high school girls get married. They miss out on a lot being in single life and living with roommates. Maybe its just me...yeah, probably just me. 

When I think twenty-one, I'm grateful I am alive. Twenty years ago I got really sick, a hole in my diaphragm sick. My parents were new parents and were afraid, I don't remember any of it. I look at pictures and see how painful it was to see your child connected to so many machines. A child who looks miserable, swollen, and not happy.  Thankfully there was primary children that made sure I would be healthy and happy again. 

When I think twenty-one I am grateful for the friends I have. That I am not the same girl I was in high school: a girl that was an annoying know it all and a wall flower that really didn't know her place. I'm taking more risks and I'm the person I tried to suppress in high school so I could fit in better.  I am smart, I'm awesome at my major, and I have plenty of friends that love me for me and help me be me. 

When I think twenty-one I'm a girl who is a lot happier than she used to be. I have every reason to be happy and I have learned happiness is a choice. Life gets better when you are patient and knowing good things are to come. I now have a job while I am going to school, it took me four semesters to finally get one.  I have great roommates. I have an amazing family! I have a best friend who just got engaged and I couldn't be happier because she is happy. I'm happy when the ones I love are happy.

Most of all I love that I am going to be twenty-one because I'm growing up and things are changing. Glad I haven't stayed little forever. Even though that would be nice but really think about it, never growing up would get kind of boring. Here's to become an adult and being legal. (Yeah please do not buy me any booz, even if it is a joke. Please...)