Friday, May 17, 2013

Believe, Hope, & Faith

Life is hard. Its a universal truth and a truth that i have accepted to get through life a little happier. There are plenty of times I have wanted to given up. When a class seems pretty much impossible,  my roommates seem unbearable, and I'm feeling incapable.   And then I remember not only do I have people on this Earth who believe in me, they have hope for me, and faith in me. And I have Heavenly Parents, a wonderful Elder Brother, and family members on the other side rooting for me to succeed. They don't want me to fail. And we all know who wants us to fail. The very man himself can't experience joy, love, family life, having a companion for eternity, having a body, and everything that Heavenly Father has blessed us with. I compare Satan to Voldemort often. They are a like in so many ways. Will do anything for power, will make promises he won't keep to prospective followers, and doesn't have a real body! They lost their chance at what true happiness and Satan wants you to think this life is impossible and you lost your chance to. That is not true. We came to this Earth to succeed. Heavenly Father has given us the tools and the helpers we will need. We have scriptures that will help us, modern day prophets to lead us, and the atonement to carry us when we feel like we can't take another step.

To me we have trails, low points, and difficulties in this life to learn. "If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard." We wouldn't understand what happiness is. We wouldn't be able to truly rejoice when we over come hard things. We have to have the bitter to truly understand what is sweet. These trails are to help us grow, learn, be better, and become more like our Heavenly Parents. We wouldn't learn if life was easy. We wouldn't have our agency and learn how to make our own decisions. God gives us trails because He knew we would be capable of them. Our attitude, our faith will determine if that trail we'll bring us closer to God or distance to God, He has given us the choice.

Yesterday I wanted to give up. I thought that something I had experienced two months ago was over. I thought that once I wasn't administered a local anesthetic those problems would stop happening. Well at this point all I'm going to say is I'll hopefully have answers next week when I go home and see the doctor. I just don't want to be in pain. Imagine just sitting there and not understanding why your arms hurt because you haven't done anything and it feels nothing like a work out sore or I've been lifting boxes sore.   I wanted to quit, quit trying (which I've wanted to do with a lot of things in my life-). I didn't want to believe in myself anymore. But something was holding me back. It was Elder Holland's "Lord, I Believe" General Conference Address from the most recent conference. I've continually thinking about the scripture in Mark chapter 9 verses 23 & 24. "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway teh father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." Yesterday I cried, not because I hurt but that I let my faith be shaken. I have faith in a lot things, hope in some things, and believe in things. I have faith(and know) that I belong to a Church who has the fullness of Christ Gospel, I have faith in the atonement, the power of the priesthood, and etc. I have hope to return to live with my Heavenly Father someday with my family, I have hope that I will live the rest of my life in a righteous manner, and I hope to be a mother in this life or the life to come. I believe I could get married in this life, have children in this life but I don't know about those. Its hard, its the one thing I can picture it yet still have a hard time hoping it will actually happen (plan b is being the next Sheri Dew of the Church)

As soon as I was looking at things in this perspective, I knew everything was going to be okay. Heavenly Father was going to take care of me even though I'll be in pain pretty much the rest of my life(from what I've been reading, I'll be able to manage it but their will still be bad days). I'm not going to give up today or the next day. It will all work out in the end! Good things are coming!

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