mornings

That face describes best how I feel about mornings lately. Mornings have been hard for me for 3 weeks running now. My body hurts, doesn't want to move and sometimes when I wake up I just don't have the motiviation to be strong and get over it.  The arthritis blood test did come back with abnormalities and if my pain continues I need to see a rumetologist (joy. more doctors).  I've never been a fan of mornings to begin with but now I loathe mornings now. Before it was the fact that I had to get out of bed and not sleep anymore but now I have to wake up and feel pain. Living with chronic pain isn't just being physically drained but emotionally it is hard. I've noticed my motivation has dropped significantly. Some days I struggle with finding the energy to take care of myself; make myself presentable, cleaning my room, and getting some sort of exercise in. I want the pain to go away because I know how it feels to not be in pain.  Its getting better in the way that I'm dealing with it better emotionally. I'm not crying all the time like I was before (hurray for meditation!) So maybe someday I'll like mornings.