Well it sucks to be honest, and it hurts to be real .

Sorry no dear boys this week. 

Boys are to much of a headache and a heartache right now. 

As I've said in the previous post I don't feel up to par or even a bogey. 

I really haven't been wanting to write anything 

because I know anything that I do comes out like some sad nonsense

no one wants to listen to or be around. 

I can't wait until the lab results come back. 

 I know I'll feel better once the doctors figure out whats going on. 

Its moments like these that really make me miss home. 

I wish I could be home where my parents can love me and understand

why I'm not feeling so well. I wish I could be home right now. 

Cry in my mom's shoulder and  hide from the world. 

Have my little brother hug me because I am crying. 

My sisters telling me how gorgeous and pretty I am. 

My dad telling me it will get better. 

Tonight I  have them doing that in my head since I cant' be with them. 

Sometimes life sucks. 

And sometimes its hard to really express how we feel. 

And sometimes it hurts to share that with people. 

Sometimes it hurts to feel what you are actually feeling. 

The good thing to know is that life will get better after hard times and you grow.